Words, Power, and Teachable Moments

Conversation between two three year olds:
Boy #1: "Hey, he called me dumb!"
Boy #2: "Because you ARE dumb!"
Me: "What does dumb mean?"
Boy #2: It means you can't play!"
Me: "No, that's not what dumb means."
Boy #2: "It's means you say it when you are in the car and someone goes too slow."
Me "no, that's not what it means either. It means someone is not very smart if they are dumb. Are you not very smart?" (To boy #1)
Boy #1: "But I'm very smart!"
Me: "Yes, you are vert smart. So are you dumb?"
Boy #1: "No!"
Me: "Then you'd better tell Boy #2 that...he must be mixed up!"
Boy #1: "I am not dumb, I am very smart."
Boy #2: "OK, you are not dumb."

Conversation between a three year old and a teacher:
Kid: "I am going potty, then I am going outside, then I am going to get dead! I am gonna get dead in three days...HA!" (laughing)
Me: "That would be pretty sad if you were dead. Do you know what it means to be dead?"
Kid: It means I'm gonna get dead in three days!" Still laughing.
Me: " Being dead means you are not alive anymore. I'd be very sad if you were dead. I don't think you'll be dead for a VERY long time."
Kid: "OK, then how about if I play with (another kid) in three days?"
Me: "That sounds much better to me!"


Everything in the world happens in preschool. Every emotion, every feeling, every action. From love to hate to joy to pain to fear to glee and everything in between. It seems to happen in waves...certain themes keep popping up and this week it seems to be mistaken words. This morning we intervened on a group of children saying that they were going to kill someone. This led to a teachable moment about what that even means. Once again, we were given an array of responses, from "We won't play with him" to "He'll have blood" to "someone will get hurt". It was clear that no one in the whole class actually understood the concept of killing and what that really means. The whole class then had a discussion together about how to treat others, and about how we want to be treated by others.

To someone outside of the preschool world, this all sounds very jarring. To those of us here every day, we know that this is how children beginning to develop empathy. They are not born with empathy- for the first five years or so children are egocentric- it's not a character judgement, just the reality! These are the conversations that help the process along. Every conversation with a preschooler has the potential to be a teachable moment.